120 Hilarious Sloth Jokes
Sloth jokes take time to laugh, but they’re worth it! These lovely critters, known for their laid-back lifestyles and cute behaviors, have surprised the funny world. Sloths’ sluggish movements and perpetual smiles have charmed many, and now they’re here to entertain us!
We’ll laugh at sloth jokes in this entertaining blog post. So, whether you’re a sloth fanatic or just need a good laugh, buckle up and prepare for some sloth comedy! Let’s enjoy slow-motion laughter and relaxing. Prepare to “hang” with some of the funniest animals!
Sloth One-Liners:
1: What do you call a sloth who won the lottery? A millionaire with no motivation.
2: I asked a sloth how long it takes him to get ready in the morning. He said, “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
3: What’s the difference between a sloth and a counterfeit coin? One is slow, and the other is a slug.
4: Why are sloths bad at answering the phone? Because by the third ring, they’ve only just heard the first.
5: Why did the sloth get fired from the calendar factory? He only worked one day a month.
6: My friend said, “Can you help me move this weekend?” I said, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m booked slothid.”
7: What do you call a three-toed sloth who hangs upside down? Abnormal.
8: Why don’t sloths make good sailors? They can only do things slowly.
9: What do you call a sloth who does everything fast? A metaphor.
10: How do you motivate a sloth? Give them a lifetime to achieve their goals.
11: Did you hear about the energetic sloth? Neither did I.
12: What do you call a sloth on the phone? A tele-sloth.
13: Why don’t sloths make good magicians? Because their tricks take too long.
14: I took my new sloth pet to the vet. He said, “This is the slowest sloth I’ve ever seen.” I said, “Yeah, I know. He’s missing a toe, so he can’t pick things up very fast.”
15: What do you call a sloth that works at a hotel? A concierge slug.
16: Why don’t sloths skydive? They can’t bear the terminal velocity.
17: Why are sloths terrible motivational speakers? Because they take forever to get to the point.
18: What do you call a sloth who runs a bed and breakfast? A slow host.
19: Why don’t sloths make good Uber drivers? Passengers always give them 1-star reviews for being too slow.
20: How do sloths play hide and seek? They just stay still and win every time.
21: Why can’t sloths be politicians? They take too long to pass bills.
22: What do you call a sloth who works as a life coach? Unqualified.
23: What do you call two sloths fighting over a tree branch? Squabbling sluggishly.
24: Why don’t sloths eat fast food? They can’t handle the pace of the drive-thru.
25: What do you call a sloth in a tree? A branch manager.
26: What’s the slowest form of torture? Making a sloth wait.
27: How do sloths make important decisions? They sleep on it.
28: Why don’t sloths make good Uber drivers? Their overall rating is 1 star.
29: Why was the sloth fired from the pit crew? He kept slowing down the tire changes.
30: What do you call a sloth who runs a hotel? A slow host.
Sloth Jokes:
31: What do you call a sloth who loves to read books? Well-red.
32: How does a sloth stop a soccer match? He holds up a sign that says “slow down.”
33: Why was the sloth late to work? He missed the slug bus.
34: Why are sloths so calm and peaceful? They’re on Valium time.
35: What’s the difference between a sloth and a parking meter? One is slow and useless, and the other is a sloth.
36: Why don’t sloths waterski? They can’t afford to get that far behind the boat.
37: Why did the sloth get fired from the tennis ball factory? He just couldn’t keep up with the pace.
38: What do you call a sloth who does laundry? A wash slug.
39: Why do sloths make bad TV show hosts? Because everything is in slow-motion.
40: Why are sloths banned from skydiving? They can’t bear the terminal velocity.
41: What does a sloth say when you ask to borrow money? “Let me sleep on it.”
42: Why don’t sloths make good pharmacists? Because they’re too slow to fill prescriptions.
43: Why do sloths make terrible builders? They take a month to hammer a nail.
44: Where do sloths go to dance? The slug club.
45: What do you call a sloth who does your taxes? A deduction slug.
46: Why did the sloth’s friends stop inviting him hiking? Because he held everyone back.
47: Why don’t sloths play hide and seek? Because no one would ever find them.
48: What do you call a sloth that knows karate? A slowja.
49: How do you surprise a sloth? Sneak up from behind.
50: Why was the sloth so bad at playing the guitar? He could only manage one strum a minute.
51: Why don’t sloths make good pharmacists? They’re too slow counting pills.
52: What’s the difference between a sloth and a glacier? A glacier moves faster.
53: What do you call two sloths playing chess? Slow motion.
54: Why do sloths take so long to eat lunch? They’re never in a rush.
55: Why did the sloth get cut from the baseball team? He couldn’t run the bases fast enough.
56: How do you know when a sloth is under the weather? He’s even slower than usual.
57: Why did the sloth’s piano recital get canceled? He was still practicing the first measure.
58: Where do slow animals go on vacation? Sloth Springs.
59: What’s the difference between a toddler and a sloth? One is lethargic, lazy, and slow. The other is a sloth.
60: Why are sloths so bad at catching criminals? They only make 1 arrest per month.
Sloth Knock-Knock Jokes:
61: Knock knock. Who’s there? Sloth. Sloth who? That’s right, sloth who – I’m a sloth.
62: Knock knock. Who’s there? Art. Art who? Art you going to let me in or do I have to keep waiting here like a sloth?
63: Knock knock. Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking so slowly like a sloth!
64: Knock knock. Who’s there? Alma. Alma who? Alma not moving fast for anyone!
65: Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes Sean, you know, the really slow sloth who lives next door.
66: Knock knock. Who’s there? Achoo. Achoo who? Achoo know it’s me, because I’m knocking so slowly like a sloth!
67: Knock knock. Who’s there? Hoops. Hoops who? Hoops me, I’ve been standing here knocking like a sloth for 5 minutes!
68: Knock knock. Who’s there? Aardvark. Aardvark who? Aardvark slowly to get the door – I’m a sloth!
69: Knock knock. Who’s there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore wasn’t open so I kept on knocking like a sloth.
70: Knock knock. Who’s there? Tricia. Tricia who? Tricia door handle already but I’m still waiting cause I’m a sloth!
71: Knock knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you open the door any slower? I’m a sloth!
72: Knock knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin case you didn’t realize, I’m knocking slowly because I’m a sloth.
73: Knock knock. Who’s there? Fez. Fez who? Fez the door and let me in already, I’ve been knocking like a sloth forever!
74: Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome—it’s tank to my sloth speed that I’m still out here knocking.
75: Knock knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me in already, I’ve been knocking like a sloth all day!
76: Knock knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben knocking for 10 minutes cause I’m a sloth! Let me in!
77: Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive very slowly, which is why I’m still knocking like a sloth out here.
78: Knock knock. Who’s there? spell. Spell who? Can you spell your name slowly so I can keep up, since I’m a sloth?
79: Knock knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No thanks, can you just let me in already? I move slow like a sloth!
80: Knock knock. Who’s there? Deja. Deja who? Deja open the door yet? I’ve been knocking slowly like a sloth forever!
81: Knock knock. Who’s there? Max. Max who? Max slow movements mean I’ve been waiting at this door like a sloth!
82: Knock knock. Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? Doris still closed so I’m still knocking slowly like a sloth out here!
83: Knock knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes getting ridiculous—I’m still waiting out here like a sloth!
84: Knock knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me still knockin’ but I move slowly like a sloth!
85: Knock knock. Who’s there? Flower. Flower who? Flower you waiting, can you let me in soon? I’m a slow sloth!
86: Knock knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Atch you opening the door already? I move at a sloth’s pace!
87: Knock knock. Who’s there? Tammy. Tammy who? Tammy much longer to open the door when you move as slow as a sloth?
88: Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah hurry like a sloth, I’ve been waiting ages for you to open the door!
89: Knock knock. Who’s there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore’s still closed and I’m still waiting – I move slowly like a sloth!
90: Knock knock. Who’s there? Ya. Ya who? Yay, you finally opened the door! What took you so long? I’m a sloth!
Conclusion:
I hope you enjoyed this collection of 90 hilarious sloth jokes and knock-knock jokes! Sloths make for great comedy fodder because of their famously slow movements and overall lazy demeanor. Let these jokes inspire you to relax and take things slow once in a while too. The sloth lifestyle sure has its perks!